Laughter

In court the judge interrogates a mugger but gets into difficulty because the mugger is a forigner who doesn't speak English.
Judge: Don't you speak English at all?
Mugger: Only a few words.
Judget: What words do you know?
Mugger: your purse or your life?

Laughter

An antique collector was passing a small shop when he noticed a cat on the sidewalk, licking milk from a saucer. The man immediately realized the saucer was very old and valuable. So he persuaded the shop owner to sell him the cat at $20. Then he said to the shop owner, "I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer as well. The cat seems to like it."
"Sorry," the shop owner, "but that saucer brings me luck. Just in this week I've sold 68 cats".